Dissociation/NEAD
Today, my depression and anxiety are there but not crushing. My eating disorder is battling with me but I’ve just eaten a good-sized dinner despite it. Today, I’m mostly winning 🙌🏻
Something else I wanted to discuss today is my dissociation. I have dissociative seizures, where I don’t lose consciousness but I lose the ability to move or speak. It mostly looks like I’ve fallen asleep or fainted, or like I’ve zoned out, or occasionally I’ll actively convulse. It’s a condition called Non-Epileptic Attack Disorder (NEAD). It’s not a well-known condition and there is misunderstanding about the condition, even among the healthcare professions.
It’s hard having a condition where you could lose the ability to communicate or move at any time because you feel very vulnerable. It feeds into my anxiety. I currently don’t go out alone, which leads to a lack of independence. I do want to tackle this again, but it’s hard. Particularly with so much else going on mentally. It’s a question of how much challenge one brain can handle. Particularly a faulty brain.
My seizures happen when I become overwhelmed. But they also just happen. They’ve happened in places when I’ve been out thoroughly enjoying myself with close friends. The unknown is hard 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve been incredibly lucky to have masses of input over the years I’ve had attacks. I’ve had a lot of therapy. I now feel more able to tolerate my seizures but still struggle with controlling them.
If anyone has any questions about my NEAD, please do ask!
Something else I wanted to discuss today is my dissociation. I have dissociative seizures, where I don’t lose consciousness but I lose the ability to move or speak. It mostly looks like I’ve fallen asleep or fainted, or like I’ve zoned out, or occasionally I’ll actively convulse. It’s a condition called Non-Epileptic Attack Disorder (NEAD). It’s not a well-known condition and there is misunderstanding about the condition, even among the healthcare professions.
It’s hard having a condition where you could lose the ability to communicate or move at any time because you feel very vulnerable. It feeds into my anxiety. I currently don’t go out alone, which leads to a lack of independence. I do want to tackle this again, but it’s hard. Particularly with so much else going on mentally. It’s a question of how much challenge one brain can handle. Particularly a faulty brain.
My seizures happen when I become overwhelmed. But they also just happen. They’ve happened in places when I’ve been out thoroughly enjoying myself with close friends. The unknown is hard 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve been incredibly lucky to have masses of input over the years I’ve had attacks. I’ve had a lot of therapy. I now feel more able to tolerate my seizures but still struggle with controlling them.
If anyone has any questions about my NEAD, please do ask!
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